It's Good Friday, so I shouldn't spend too much time -- like Lileks did -- making fun of Madonna, making a special point to toss an easy grenade her way for how she's decided she's no longer a psuedo-Brit.

No. It's Good Friday, and I still owe PJ an update, and I still owe some folks some back email, and I'm still dealing with whatever hit my immune system running yesterday.

So I'll leave you with this, and wish you a happy Easter.

WHEN OUR BELOVED died, all mankind died and all things for a space were still and gray. Then the east was darkened, and a tempest rushed out of it and swept the land. The eyes of the sky opened and shut, and the rain came down in torrents and carried away the blood that streamed from His hands and His feet.

I too died. But in the depth of my oblivion I heard Him speak and say, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."

And His voice sought my drowned spirit and I was brought back to the shore.

And I opened my eyes and I saw His white body hanging against the cloud, and His words that I had heard took the shape within me and became a new man. And I sorrowed no more.

Who would sorrow for a sea that is unveiling its face, or for a mountain that laughs in the sun?

Was it ever in the heart of man, when that heart was pierced, to say such words?

What other judge of men has released His judges? And did ever love challenge hate with power more certain of itself?

Was ever such a trumpet heard 'twixt heaven and earth?

Was it known before that the murdered had compassion on his murderers? Or that the meteor stayed his footsteps for the mole?

The seasons shall tire and the years grow old, ere they exhaust these words: "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."

And you and I, though born again and again, shall keep them.

And now I would go into my house, and stand an exalted beggar, at His door.

And When He Died All Mankind Died, Khalil Gibran.

Not the best poetry in the world, and theologically a tiny bit suspect; but I always felt I came a little closer to the Cross when I read it.

Because remember everyone:

The right to freedom of speech means the right to criticize others, and never be criticized yourself.

Because while your dissent is patriotic, and your loudmouthed criticism a celebration of free speech, people who disagree with you are trying to stifle dissent, and are in fact un-American.

Moron.

One last for a little while: I'm nearing the limit at which the nice folks at Pyra will ask for money before they let me post anything else. Posting will therefore be kinda light for the next week or so.

Jimmy Carter II: The Revenge

So Billy boy shot off his trap. Apologies to Agence France Surrender Monkeys Press for quoting at length:

Former US President Bill Clinton blasted US foreign policy adopted in the wake of the September 11 attacks, arguing the United States cannot kill, jail or occupy all of its adversaries.

He's right; realistically, we can't do all three. Guess we'll just have to kill them all.

"Our paradigm now seems to be: something terrible happened to us on September 11, and that gives us the right to interpret all future events in a way that everyone else in the world must agree with us," said Clinton, who spoke at a seminar of governance organized by Conference Board.

Which contrasts nicely with the Clintonian "paradigm" of: Something terrible might happen some day; that gives us the right to kick the problem downfield, so that the world will love us, and the next group of guys will have to deal with it.

Don't you have a book to write or something?

"And if they don't, they can go straight to hell."

Seems like an agreeable way to, oh, I dunno, ensure the common defense, defend liberty, etc.

The Democratic former president, who preceded George W. Bush at the White House, said that sooner or later the United States had to find a way to cooperate with the world at large.

"We can't run," Clinton pointed out. "If you got an interdependent world, and you cannot kill, jail or occupy all your adversaries, sooner or later you have to make a deal."

Like with, say, North Korea?

Liberalism, like insanity, is doing again and again something that never works.

He said he believed Washington overreacted to German and French opposition to US plans for military action against Iraq and suggested that the current administration had trouble juggling foreign and domestic issues.

Which Bill, of course, never did.

"Since September 11, it looks like we can't hold two guns at the same time," Clinton said. "If you fight terrorism, you can't make America a better place to be."

Dude, just as a preliminary matter, you should never employ a metaphor that could refer to sexual improprieties. Let's just say you don't want to go there.

And to get to the big point: If you fight terrorism, you can make America a safer place to be. Let me put this a different way: If you (fruitlessly) spend eight years trying to make America a better place to be, and ignore terrorism, somewhere on the order of 4,000 innocent people -- surprisingly, mostly Americans! -- die.

I'll take Bush's approach, thanks.

Clinton said that if he were at the White House right now he would scrap a 726-billion dollar tax cut proposal made by the president in January to stimulate the flagging economy.

BREAKING NEWS! DEMOCRAT RAILS AGAINST TAX CUT! STORY AT ELEVEN!

Just because the prior Donkey President spouts off at will, doesn't mean you have to, as well. Especially on something you got terribly wrong.

Fool.

I've had a horrendous last couple of days at work, but I'm almost through it. I'm behind on my email, and updates to this blog; I'll catch up shortly.

I appreciate everyone's forbearance.

Oh Yeah? You and What Army?

I'll let the story introduce itself:

The Palestinian Authority demanded the release of veteran Palestinian guerrilla leader Abu Abbas on Wednesday, saying his detention in Iraq by U.S. forces violated an interim Middle East peace deal.

"We demand the United States release Abu Abbas. It has no right to imprison him," Palestinian cabinet minister Saeb Erekat told Reuters.

"The Palestinian-Israeli interim agreement signed on September 28, 1995 stated that members of the Palestine Liberation Organization must not be detained or tried for matters they committed before the Oslo peace accord of September 13, 1993," he said.

"This interim agreement was signed on the U.S. side by President Clinton and his secretary of state, Warren Christopher," Erekat added. There was no immediate Israeli comment on Abbas' arrest by U.S. special forces.

Abbas masterminded the 1985 hijacking of the Achille Lauro cruise ship in the Mediterranean.

The appropriate response, I think follows:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Let me rephrase that:

If Yasser Arafat's little club of terrorists, despots, thugs, and mafioso (and that may be an insult to the original mafia) really wants Abbas, I propose a way to settle this:

We'll have a duel, winner take all. As we're the challenged, I suggest we choose armored divisions as our weapons of choice. I'd say carrier battle groups, but that wouldn't be fair.

Quick question: Why didn't Reuters mention that the S.O.B. killed an elderly Jewish man, just for being Jewish?

Just wondering.

Hat Tip: Travelling Shoes.

Damn. A friend passed on this email:

HELLO,

I AM MR OSMAN DAN FODO, A BANK EXECUTIVE IN IRAQ I AM SENDING THIS MESSAGE TO YOU IN CONFIDENCE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SENT THROUGH MAIL. BUT I AM AFRAID THAT FOR SOME REASONS I DECIDED NOT TO.

DUE TO THE WAR DECLARED ON MY COUNTRY IRAQ I AM ASKING FOR YOUR FAVOR IN THE TRANSFER OF SOME MONEY BELONGING TO ONE MR IDRIS SALAM (DECEASED) WHO DIED OF A HEART ATTACK 2DAYS AGO IN IRAQ. MR. IDRIS SALAM WAS A CONTACTOR AND WAS SERVICING SOME AFRICAN NATION WITH CONSTRUCTION SERVICES. WE WANT A RELIABLE PERSON WHO COULD ASSIST US TO TRANSFER THE SUM OF SEVENTY ONE MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS (US$71.5
MILLION) INTO HIS/HER ACCOUNT. THIS FUND RESULTED FROM A DUE PAYMENT WHICH IS MENT TO BE PAID BEFORE THE END OF MARCH, FROM A CONTRACT AWARDED TO HIM FOR THE TURN AROUND MAINTENANCE (T.A.M) CARRIED OUT ON THE THREE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORTS IN NIGERIA IN THE LAST THREE YEARS.

NOW ALL ATTEMPTS TO TRACE HIS NEXT OF KIN HAS PROVED ABORTIVE. THERE IS HOWEVER NO TRACE IN ANY OF HIS OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS OF A NEXT OF KIN.

THE BASIC LINE HERE IS THAT DUE TO THE PANIC OF THE WAR SITUATION HERE IN IRAQ MESELF AND MY FAMILY WILL BE JETTING OUT OF IRAQ TONITE AND WE WILL BE GOING TO NIGERIA. I HAVE ALL THE RELEVANT DOCUMENT TO FACILITATE THE TRANSFER OF THIS MONEY TO AN OFF SHORE ACCOUNT AND WILL BE WILLING TO GIVE YOU 30% OF THE ENIRE SUM IF YOU STAND AS A NEXT OF KIN TO MR. SALAM.

SO ALL I AM ASKING FROM YOU IS THAT YOU SHOULD STAND IN AS HIS NEXT OF KIN TO AVOID THE MONEY GOING INTO THE HANDS OF CORRUPT GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS IN NIGERIA. ALSO NOTE THAT, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE MONEY TO LEAVE THE COFFERS OF THE BANK WITHOUT A NEXT OF KIN, WHO ALSO MUST BE A FOREIGNER. SINCE THE MONEY HAS BEEN PAID FULL INTO FURTHER WORKINGS OF THIS INITIATIVE, AND A SHARING RATIO, PLUS POSSIBLE AREAS OF INVESTMENT WILL BE DISCUSSED AS SOON AS I HEAR FROM YOU.

BEST REGARDS.

MR.OSMAN DAN-FODO

(My friend apparently replied:"Dan-Fodo is a central African variant. No bank in Iraq with liquid capital employs central Africans.

And by the way, the constant need to touch on, or be in, Nigeria or other central or west African countries is a give-away. There are other places in the world with lousy financial or political situations; use one of those. Most Americans wouldn't know the correct prefix code for another country if it bit them in the butt.

Try again with a different name, from, say, the Ukraine, or Paraguay.")

I was going to forward this to H.D. Miller, because he predicted this would happen.

But, someone beat me to the punch in his comments section with this link.

In some ways, it's a deeply funny world, isn't it?

By the way, I've figured out that the Eighth Circle of Hell is defined by a constant audiotrack of Elton John's entire musical portfolio, including whatever noises he makes on the way to the shower in the morning. Every day for eternity, Asmodeus rises to that sound, and dreams longingly of the sweet strains of Heaven, or at least the cries of the damned.

Morrissey's work is on constant repeat in the Sixth Circle. Pray for those consigned there.

Some days are better than others.

Wow.

I'll post more on this later.

Via Josh Claybourn.

Best line to date on Pearl Jam's silliness:

Published claims that dozens of fans walked out at this point seem dubious, since that would require Pearl Jam's fan base to still number in the dozens.

I almost wish I cared about Pearl Jam in some way, so I could laugh all the more about this.

Good news, all: Patrick Ruffini is more or less back.

Now, if only Tacitus would return to us...