Found this over at Jimmy Z28:

So apparently the Beastie Boys are pissy about the upcoming completion of the Gulf War.

Following a recording hiatus of nearly three years, the Beastie Boys have been driven out of hiding by the need to comment on the scary state of the world.

"We all got to a point where we felt like, we’re in this room in New York, we’re looking at each other every day, and we really felt compelled to speak our minds on what exactly we see happening right now," Mike D said.

The idiocy -- the simple, sheer absurdity of coming to this conclusion in New York of all places -- staggers the mind. But, sadly, there's more:

The up-tempo song, which features a simple rhythm and rudimentary samples, has the old-school feel of a Run-DMC track. The buoyancy of the beats contrasts with the lyrics, which criticize the Bush administration's eagerness to attack Iraq: "You build more bombs as you get more bold/ As your mid-life crisis war unfolds/ All you wanna do is take control/ Now put that Axis of Evil bullsh-- on hold."

Now there's an argument for you, kids. It's not about disarming a mortal threat, it's not about saving thousands of lives, it's not about making sure the U.S. is safe. It's about "taking control." Wow. Well, this man clearly deserves dual Ph.D.s in philosophy and political science. Maybe an M.D. in clinical psychiatry?

"None of us feels very comfortable with what Bush is putting forward and the way that Bush is representing the United States, and I don’t think he represents us," MCA said.

The last is not technically true; the solution to the former is simple: Vote against him in 2004. In the mean time, might I suggest resigning yourself to a little thing we call democracy? He's the President, and his party just won a crushing midterm on the issue of Iraq. Maybe -- just maybe -- the American people have spoken?

"We just felt like if we do have an opportunity to put some ideas out there that a few people might hear, then we should do that. I mean, you just look at the TV and see this guy who’s supposed to be representing us and it just feels ridiculous."

Well, while we're on the subject of ridiculousness, might we speak of your half-decade old "Free Tibet" campaign? How's that coming? 'Cuz peaceful protest, cruddy psuedo-cultural wailing, and pot-laced concerts have stopped ethnic cleansing in Tibet, right? Smug moral superiority has won over the PRC, and the Tibetans are once again a fabled, free, religious kingdom of knights, priest-kings, and a happy, shiny citizenry. Han extermination of the Tibetans is over due to your massive accrual of positive karma, right?

Right?

The Beasties may have been driven to create "In a World Gone Mad" because they felt like Bush was turning a deaf ear to the screaming voices of anti-war protesters, but they said they were also motivated after hearing rumors that artists were discouraged from mentioning the Middle East conflict during the Grammy Awards. After so much disinformation, the Boys decided some old-school learnin' was in order.

Two notes: First, I'm impressed with the writer who felt no need to put quotation marks around the word "disinformation." And this guy only works for MTV? Get him a professorship at the Columbia School of Journalism! Second, do we really care why these kooks brave souls chose to "speak out"?

"The majority of people out there seem to link September 11 and Iraq," Mike D said. "It seems to me that the government hasn’t really put any evidence out there. There hasn’t been a compelling case linking the two, so I think it’s really important to separate them."

Agreed. Exactly. Remember, when you have a high fever, swollen black lumps under your arms, and a hacking cough that brings up blood, it's not "Pnuemonic Plague." That's disinformation. It's actually three things that need to be separated, so they can be treated better, right? The fever you tag with aspirin. The swelling under the arms: Calamine lotion! The wheezing cough: Positive karma and some Ricola! Anyone who tells you differently is crushing dissent.

Sounds to me like someone needs a more advanced version of one of this -- for the prefrontal lobe.

I never liked the Beastie Boys, never got into them. Their last pile of shit artistic offering struck me as a bad combination of lazy white boy rap (heavy on those synths, baby!) and bad techno (which is to say, sorry Jimmy, techno). So this isn't exactly gonna wound my musical soul to its core.

But what got me really, really cheesed about this article isn't the typical leftist pap. Ok, well, yes, that irritated the crap out of me. But the reason I was in the right mood for this to set me off is the resurgance of this irritating song.

Wanna know why it sucks? Let's examine the lyrics:

War. huh! Yeah!
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothin'! Uh huh uh hu-uh.

Oh, right. Nothing at all. Except maybe stopping things like this:



this:



this:



this:



and, some day, God willing, this:



But hey, those dirty dark skinned people (and Jews, and Gypsies, and...) aren't really worth it. Sing it again:

War. huh! Yeah!
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothin'! Say it again y'all.

War. huh! Look out!
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothin'! Listen to me.

God, the Sixties were a deeply messed up time.

Ahhh war.
I despise, cause it means destruction of innocent life.
War means tears to thousands of mothers' eyes,
when their sons go off to fight and lose their lives.

Like Anne Frank, right? I mean, good thing someone didn't kill some soldiers and save her life, huh?

What's that? Collateral damage? Dead civilians? War is never worth it?

What a morally cretinous position.

I said, war. huh! Good God y'all.
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothin'! Say it again.

War. huh! Whoa whoa whoa Lord.
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothin'! Listen to me.

War.
It ain't nothin' but a heart breaker.
War.
Friend only, to the undertaker.

Because remember, peace always means love and life.

Ahhh war.
is an enemy to all mankind.
The thought of war blows my mind.
War has caused unrest within the younger generation.
Induction, then destruction. Who wants to die?

In order:

Actually, no: War is an enemy of the losing side. Get a grip.

I have the lurking feeling that a lot of things blow your mind.

Hormones cause unrest within the younger generation. So do shiny colors. War is no different in this regard than anything else.

No one wants to die, moron. But wait! I know the solution! Don't want to die? Don't live! After all, no one gets out of life alive!

Ahhh war. huh! Good God y'all.
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothin'! Say it, say it, say it.

War. huh! Uh huh yeah, huh!
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothin'! Listen to me.

War.
It ain't nothin' but a heart breaker.
War.
Its got one friend, that's the undertaker.

Ahhh war.
has shattered, many a young man's dreams.
Made him disabled, bitter and mean.
Life is but too short and precious,
it's been fighting wars each day.
War can't give life, it can only take it away.

Scroll back up to those pictures. Read an account of the liberation of Bergen Belsen. Then tell me that war can't save lives.

Ahhh war. huh! Good God y'all.
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothin'! Say it again.

War. huh! Whoa whoa whoa Lord.
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothin'! Listen to me.

War.
It ain't nothin' but a heart breaker.
War.
Friend only, to the undertaker.

wooo

Someone wanna tell me why exactly this song is still popular? (I mean, I know folks did a lot of drugs back in the Sixties, but it's scaled back since then. We have no excuse now.)

Peace, love and understanding, tell me
Is there no place for them today?
They say we must fight, to keep our freedom,
but Lord knows there's got to be a better way.

Yes, there is. And there shall come a day when the Lion lies down with the Lamb, and the golden bowl will have poured its last, and human frailty shall be wiped away, and the Kingdom of God will be born, and there shall be no more suffering or iniquity.

In the meantime, we're stuck in a miserable, dirty, savage world, where folks will stab you in the liver just to get one step closer to the ATM. No, not Hollywood. Earth. We have to deal with this wretched world until the Eschaton, and sometimes that means, Huh! War!

Put differently, until that Last Day, I'd rather be the lion than the lamb, if only to save the other lambs.

Ahhh war. huh! Good God y'all.
What is it good for?
You tell 'em. nothin'! Say it, say it, say it, say it.

War. huh! Good God now, huh!
What is it good for?
Stand up and shout it. nothin'!

See why I got angry?

One last question, for Mike D: Would it be OK to go to war to stop China from ethnically cleansing Tibet? Just wondering.

Nice, if long.