Third-String QB: Team Needs New Starting Quarterback After Current QB Wins Superbowl and Superbowl MVP

Or at least, that seems to be the thrust of Kerry's drivel:

Regardless of how successful the United States is in waging war against Iraq, it will take a new president to rebuild the country's damaged relationships with the rest of the world, Sen. John Kerry said Wednesday.

Right. Inevitably, successful prosecution of a war means we need to throw out the bum who won it, right?

The Massachusetts senator has long said Saddam Hussein must be disarmed and removed from power, and he voted to give President Bush the authority to strike Iraq. But he has strongly criticized Bush for his actions leading to the war, saying the president should have given diplomacy more time and his failure to do so has alienated America's allies.

Yeah, that 18-month rush to war musta turned off all of those countries whose TARDISes were broken.

I'm looking at you, France.

''Because of the depth of this breach, because of the anger that exists with many countries and their leaders ... I don't think they're going to trust this president no matter what,'' Kerry said.

This is a bad thing, right? We want them to trust us why, exactly? So they can roll us like they did Bill "The [European] People Love Me" Clinton?

Yeah.

Kerry said he would heal relations with other countries by approaching the United Nations with an aggressive plan to make the United States a leader on international, environmental and health issues without ceding its right to defend itself.

In other news, scientists are seeking a way to destroy a human being's brain while leaving the person capable of walking and making major foreign policy speeches.

It worked with John Kerry, one of the scientists said, on the condition of anonymity.

''I believe we can have a golden age of American diplomacy,'' he said. He also defended his support of the USA Patriot Act which broadened the government's powers to shut down terrorist financiers and money launderers and the resolution giving Bush the authority to go to war against criticism that the measures eroded American civil liberties.

Something for everybody. The modern Democrat candidate.

He also said he looks forward to appointing an attorney general who reads and abides by the constitution of the United States.

...thereby breaking precedent with every Democrat president since Kennedy.

Jim Grant, whose Peterborough company offers training for teachers, asked Kerry about Bush's ''No Child Left Behind'' education law, calling it an unfounded mandate that will open the door to widespread use of school vouchers.

Kerry agreed, saying that the solution is fixing public schools, not building charter schools or using vouchers to allow children to be transferred. ''You can't build charter schools fast enough for an entire generation,'' he said.

(1) On the contrary, yes you can. And anyway, who said anything about building new schools?

(2) More importantly, who says you need to? Send the kids who need it to private schools; if parents are happy with their kids' current schools, no one's proposing shipping the little tykes off against their parents' wishes. (That's the sort of thing Democrats do.) So, not to be too large a fly in the ointment, but, well, we're not talking about building new schools for an entire generation; we're talking about sending a sizable portion of a generation to better schools.

Gods above, I'm looking forward to the Democrat primaries.